I Just Want You To Know
by Keruri-chan
Summary: I just want you to know who I am..." It is around such that Vegeta bases his relationship with Bulma, but how hard is it really going to be? An introspective one-shot on Vegeta learning to love Bulma...and letting Bulma love him.


_Disclaimer: I don't own DragonBall Z, nor the song _Iris_ by Goo Goo Dolls. Yey for those people who do, though. They should feel special. I know I would._

Author's Note: I've gotten back into watching DragonBall Z, though I'm not sure if that's because I just enjoy the Buu saga _that much_ (haha) or because it's the only thing on and I'm bored. Either way, though, I'm enjoy DBZ again, and with that comes fanfiction. So I've written another songfic about everyone's favourite couple. This one is more from Vegeta's perspective than Bulma's (I find him more challenging to write, so I enjoy writing his perspective more), and I really tried not to rush the end of this one just so I could get it out faster. Lemme know what you think.

Hoo-hah

* * *

_I Just Want You To Know_

The sky was dark and overcast, and thick black clouds rolled over West City. For once it appeared that the weather forecast for the day may be correct: It did indeed look like there would be rain, although crediting the weatherman wouldn't necessarily be in order. It often rained in October and anyone had the capability to look out of their window and see the threatening rain clouds overhead.

It wasn't the weather that stopped Vegeta from training, however. He had won bloody battles under worse conditions, after all. The gravity room was running, as it had been programmed to automatically turn on at dawn, and the training bots hovering in the air, waiting for the slightest movement to fire at. But the prince wasn't even in the facility, opting instead for his bedroom.

He stood at the large bay window, his sharp eyes taking in everything occurring several stories below on the Capsule Corporation campus. He scanned the west side of the compound, the only area he could see from his current position, but it was the area he was most interested in. It was in the western-most laboratory that Bulma Briefs had been spending most of her time as of late, and it was she that Vegeta was watching for. So far, however, he had only seen a few scientists going back and forth from the western laboratory to the offices located inside the house itself, hurrying as to avoid getting rained on should the skies so desire to open up and pour on them.

He leaned arrogantly against the frame of the window and folded his arms across his chest. He wondered again if his ears had deceived him, although that would be highly unlikely. He was a Saiyan, his senses much keener than that of a human. At the same time, though, it was also highly unlikely for Bulma to have said what Vegeta believed she had said. His eyebrows furrowed as he replayed the scene again in his mind.

He had come in from the gravity room, damp from having to cross the distance in the drizzling rain. He'd sensed Yamcha's ki enter the house only a few minutes earlier. Normally it would have been a regular visit, almost routine, and Vegeta would have made an effort to stay inside his gravity room until the other martial artist left. But it was no secret that Bulma and Yamcha had _broken up_, the Earth term Bulma had used, and it confused Vegeta to discover that Yamcha was back for another visit.

He realized immediately that Bulma and Yamcha were in the kitchen, partly because he could hear them talking quietly around the corner and partly because he could feel their ki signatures fluctuating as though they were having an argument. This had caused him to frown deeply, for their voices were too hushed to be engaged in an argument. He wondered next if perhaps they were nervous.

Vegeta had edged closer to the kitchen door, and knowing that Yamcha could feel power levels in the same way he could, he suppressed his ki as much as possible. He stopped just around the corner from the kitchen door, close enough to hear snatches of their conversation and still not be seen.

"I can't..." Bulma was saying, then he heard her mumble something about it not being right.

Yamcha spoke louder. "How is it not right? It was right a few days ago, right up until you decided to call it off. I don't understand. I haven't been cheating on you, if that's what you think."

"I know," Bulma replied had replied softly, and Vegeta had to strain to hear the rest of what she had to say. "But I can't be with you anymore because I'm afraid that _I_ might cheat on _you_."

There had been a short pause. Then, "What?"

"...met someone..."

Yamcha's tone had grown louder at Bulma's nearly incoherent mumbling. "Who? Where?" he'd demanded.

"That's not important. It won't work out. But if I'm falling in love with him, I can't be with you. It's not right, and I'm sorry." Bulma had said it with finality, but Yamcha continued on.

"I have a right to know."

"You'll just be pissed off..." Her sentence had melted off into more words that Vegeta had been unable to pick up.

Yamcha had sighed heavily. "You can trust me. If you really love him, then I won't stop you from being with him. I'm curious to know who's taking my place, though."

"Don't put it like that."

"Who is it?" Yamcha's voice had adopted a soothing, persuasive tone, and Bulma had finally given in.

Barely loud enough for the Saiyan to hear, Bulma had answered. "Vegeta."

Around the corner, Vegeta had stiffened. Him? Had she just said his name? Or had she spoken so softly he'd only _thought_ that's what she'd said?

A moment later, the sound of Yamcha's "_What_!?" had reverberated off the walls of the house.

Blinking himself back into reality, Vegeta resumed watching out the window just as the first raindrop splattered against the glass. A man on the campus below broke into a run towards the western laboratory as the drops came faster and heavier, and Vegeta exhaled slowly. Wherever Bulma was, he was sure that she'd stay there for a while longer until the rain ended. He wondered briefly if he should go find her, then dismissed the idea. It wasn't likely she would be alone, and he would need an excuse to tell those she was with as to why he had gone looking for her.

Why he wanted to speak to her, he himself wasn't exactly sure. He needed to know if he really was the reason for Bulma and Yamcha _breaking up_, but more than that he felt the aching desire to let her know. He felt the need to tell her something, lift a weight off his shoulders, but what the weight was he didn't know. It was vaguely familiar, and it seemed to bring back an all but forgotten feeling from his past.

He couldn't put a single word to what he was feeling, but he did know that there was something about Bulma Briefs that made him feel as though he would sacrifice himself for her safety. That in itself seemed to be an unrealistic explanation, for Vegeta had never put the lives of others before himself, and he doubted that he ever would. It was kill or be killed in a warrior's life, and Vegeta had indeed lived the life of a warrior. But he knew that there was some kind of increasing craving to make her happy, to protect her.

He also needed to satisfy his own needs, of course. He'd assumed it to be lust at first, for there was no denying that she was a beautiful woman, but he didn't so much long to take her as much as he wished he could just hold her, just once. But he'd scowled that thought away. He was growing much too soft!

_And I'd give up forever to touch you_ _   
'Cause I know that you feel the same now_ _   
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be_ _   
And I don't wanna go home right now_

Clear sheets of water fell from the sky, and Vegeta finally abandoned his post at the window. Bulma would be taking cover indoors; he would have to find her later. He supposed that perhaps that wouldn't be such a bad thing. He would certainly have more time to think about it, and he hoped that by that time his curiosity would have run dry and he would have forgotten about it. He shook his head at himself, knowing that would never happen.

He left his bedroom and closed the wooden door tightly behind him, a habit from his childhood he had yet to overcome. He made his way down the hall and down the stairs, walking without really seeing. The path from his room to the gravity room was one he'd taken so many times, he was certain he could make the trip in his sleep.

He paused briefly at the back door, eyeing the teeming rain, then opened the door and made his way casually to the training facility. Rain had never hurt him before, and he could easily dry himself off with his ki upon entering the gravity room. Before long, however, the water had soaked into his sneakers, and he had the unpleasant sensation of walking in a puddle. He suddenly regretted not flying.

He approached the back of the gravity room, the side that faced the Capsule Corporation building, and reached to turn on the power switch before realizing that it was already on. A few moment's contemplation and he remembered: He'd left it on so that everyone would think that he was inside training rather than searching for Bulma. He turned to go around the dome-shaped space pod and nearly collided with a person going in the opposite direction.

Vegeta realized almost instantaneously that it was Bulma, and his entire body stiffened in surprise. The woman in question took a few staggering steps back before regaining her balance and looking up. She smiled slightly when she saw Vegeta, but looked awkward all the same.

She had clearly been in the rain for quite some time. Her normally curly hair, that Vegeta had always thought resembled the top of broccoli, was now more straight than anything and fell limply down her back. Her white lab coat no longer seemed to fit right as the water soaked into the fabric, and her light blue pants had become a darker shade.

Puzzled, Vegeta asked, "What are you doing here?"

As Bulma's face fell slightly, Vegeta realized that he had spoken much more harshly then he'd intended.

"I thought you were inside training," she replied, "and I wanted to talk to you. But you wouldn't answer me so I said that I was going to sit there and wait until you came out, so I sat there until it started to rain." She grinned sheepishly. "I wasn't really talking to anybody, though, was I?"

Vegeta grunted, and felt his own hair begin to droop as the water won the war and started to beat it downwards.

"Where were _you_?" Bulma countered suddenly, as though just remembering his previous tone. "Why would you leave the gravity room on if you weren't even in there?"

It was a straightforward question, and Vegeta realized that it would do no good to lie to her. He had no doubt she would find out his motives sooner or later. So he side-stepped the question altogether.

"Tell me," he said, "did you _break up_ with that weakling because of me?" Though his face was calm and his voice was steady, it had taken a great deal of effort to ask the question so directly, especially when he wasn't sure that he wanted to know the answer.

Bulma looked at him in surprise, then answered slowly. "That's actually what I wanted to talk to you about.... Not that I expect you to care or anything, but I needed to tell you. Yes, Yamcha and I split up because of you." Her lips turned upwards ever so slightly. "It's not right to date one person when you love another." And as soon as the words left her mouth, her face flamed red in embarrassment.

She leaned heavily against the gravity room in an attempt to look casual. "You know, I get that you don't really care or anything, and it doesn't really mean anything since you don't care. But I just want you to know." She shrugged, then stood upright to walk away.

And somehow, through the turmoil of relief, confusion, panic, and anticipation spiraling through Vegeta's mind, he pulled out two things: The single word required to describe all he'd been feeling, all the intense needing to care for this woman, was _love_. The other was what needed to be done at that moment. He reached out, grabbed her shoulders gently, and kissed her.

The clouds over West City shut off their taps, finished with the bustling metropolis for the day, and slowly drifted away to their next destination. The sky was left clear and blue, but below Bulma and Vegeta were both oblivious.

_And all I could taste is this moment_ _   
And all I could breathe is your life_ _   
And sooner or later it's over_ _   
I just don't wanna miss you and I_

He hadn't said anything in regards to spreading the word, but Bulma knew. She kept it to herself, and the surprising knowledge that she and Vegeta had fallen in love was limited to Dr. and Mrs. Briefs, and the couple themselves.

She hadn't asked him why, but Vegeta could tell that she was curious as to his secrecy. She was dying to share the news with friends, or at the very least understand why she was to remain silent. But Vegeta didn't know how to explain that her friends wouldn't understand, nor how to explain what it could mean for him.

If someone knew him, then they knew his weaknesses and strengths. In combat, his strengths would be used against him and his weaknesses played upon. That was what he had grown up on, the rule imbedded so completely into his mind he doubted that even Bulma would ever be able to see the true him.

It wasn't necessary for all of Bulma's friends to know who Vegeta really was. He wasn't prepared to let the knowledge of his -- dare he say love? -- feelings for Bulma be used against him. The thought of being defeated in such a way sickened him.

But although the others wouldn't be allowed to know him, he promised himself that he would try to let Bulma.

_And I don't want the world to see me_ _   
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand_ _   
When everything's meant to be broken_ _   
I just want you to know who I am_

It still surprised him that he would allow himself to give the blue-haired woman such special treatment. It seemed almost surreal, as though he wasn't _really_ letting her into his life, it only seemed that way, and so there was no harm in letting her since it wasn't really happening. Like a movie, he realized, remembering what Bulma had called them.

It wasn't a movie, of course, though Vegeta wasn't sure if he was relieved or panicked by such knowledge. Relief came in knowing that he wouldn't wake up one morning to discover it had all just been a dream, discover that he hadn't learned what it was to be loved, possibly love in return. But the fact that a single person could cause him to ignore all his rules and turn his back on the way he'd lived his life for so long was disconcerting, and so was the root of his panic.

Deep inside him, all his instincts were telling him that what he was feeling for Bulma was wrong. Opening up to her could have dire consequences. Despite how long he'd known her for, and how well he knew her, he didn't know what kind of hidden motives she may have. He shuddered, refusing to continue the thought. He'd dwelled upon it before and his imagination had spiraled out of control, almost to the point of paranoia. It had taken him some time to completely disregard the idea that it had been Bulma's plan all along to learn who he really was and use the information against him in some sort of large, conspiring plan.

Still, though, it wasn't completely out of the question. There were many planets like Earth, advanced in their technology but sorely lacking in physical strength. Vegeta had learned from experience that it was generally the races incapable of furthering their brute strength that made the transition to advancing mentally. On the opposite side, those unable to continue advancing in technology worked to gain more control over their ki. But Earth had several warriors capable of channeling ki. It was something Vegeta had realized upon first arriving on the planet with Nappa. He'd had a feeling that they were there for a reason; technologically advanced planets usually had little use for physical force, preferring instead to rely on what they could invent, but proudly sported both.

There were exceptions, of course, Vegeta's own planet having been one of them, although that change didn't come about until after Frieza arrived. He supposed that was slightly different. Frieza had been building an empire, and technology was required to make it work. Strength was also needed in order to control those who possessed power of their own. Earth wasn't planning to create an empire, as far as Vegeta knew, so that then brought him back to square one. Why did Earth have warriors able to control ki _and_ technology?

He sighed. He knew that he had invented all his worry. He knew that the only reason he had even stopped to consider the thought that Bulma may be attempting to use his emotions against him was because Saiyans had been used by Frieza in the game he'd played to gain more power. He knew that it was pointless to refrain from trusting everyone simply because one person took a knife to his back, to his race's back.

But at the same time he couldn't help it. Warriors were just as power-hungry as they were blood-thirsty, a fact he knew from experience, and would tell any sort of lie to achieve their means. And as a warrior himself, he had grown up cautious of being lied to or tricked into submission, or into helping out another. It was a mistake his own father had made, the king realizing too late that Frieza had prevaricated his way to the top of the Saiyan hierarchy. It was something that had always angered Vegeta. What had his father been thinking of? What could have possibly been said to convince him to give up his manifest power to someone like Frieza? His questions, of course, didn't have answers, but it was such things that made Vegeta hesitant, if not downright refuse, to trust another.

So odd was it that a single person, seemingly insignificant at first, could provoke so much worry, thought, reflection, and contentment all at once. It only added to the sensation of dreaming, or living out a story, for Vegeta had thought it impossible to feel so much, nevermind all at one time. He had changed so drastically, so unexpectedly, since first arriving on Earth with Nappa, there were times when he wondered if he could still bleed.

_And you can't fight the tears that ain't comin'_ _   
Or the moment of truth in your lies_ _   
When everything feels like the movies_ _   
Yeah, you bleed just to know you're alive_

It had all gone so wrong, and Vegeta had no idea as to how to fix it. Worse was the fact that he knew he could have prevented so much had he been able to control his own mind and not let Babidi give him orders. He had the sinking sensation that he was once again working for Frieza, taking the insults and following the commands. How was it that he could allow himself to experience the same sort of degrading treatment once again?

Perhaps he couldn't turn back time and do things differently, and perhaps he was unable to summon the Dragon and return all those he had killed in the stadium, but he knew that there was one thing he could do. True, the Majin symbol was still emblazoned on his forehead just below his hairline, but it didn't mean anything. No longer was he being controlled. His mind was his own and the decision made solely by him.

No, it wasn't so much a decision as it was the way the path had turned. He had come to no fork in the road and chosen one path in favour of another. It was the desperate need to secure the future of the planet and those who inhabited it. It was kill or be killed, and as a Saiyan warrior there was no question as to whether or not he would choose the former. And so another option had never even presented itself to the prince.

Facing Buu, he uttered his final threat. "You are a fool. I am going to crush you and throw you into the wind."

He had never completely opened up to Bulma, but she had always seemed content with what she knew, never pushing him or forcing her way. But now she would know what Vegeta had long since discovered. His heart wasn't coal, it beat like any other. Nor was it encased in unbreakable concrete, for the stone was indeed being chipped away as the days went on. For her, his family, even his rival, he would show who he really was.

A whirlwind of dust and rock formed near his feet, rippling outward as he increased his power. Kill or be killed. He could not carry out the execution without summoning all his power, but doing so would result in his own demise. It was a fact he had known from the beginning, but as he started putting his plan into action he self-consciously wished that he would be able to defeat Buu without having to do away with himself. But there was no hesitation as he found it truly was the only method, not a second where he wondered if there was another way in which he could keep his life. He merely accepted it, and bit by bit he drew out all the energy that he could.

He gave a small sardonic smile, recalling a time when he had placed himself above all others. Yet here, under such circumstances, he discovered that his own fate didn't matter to him, as long as he could guarantee that his family would live on. Strange how the tables had turned, he realized, for it hadn't been all that long ago that he wouldn't have thought twice about sending someone to their death. And now he hadn't thought twice about sending himself to a similar end.

His power raged, and his body ached from the exertion. He shouted his frustration, his need to have it finished quickly, his pain. But he didn't dare stop, for this was his one and only chance at defeating Buu. It had to be done. And so he pushed himself further, harder, until he was overcome by the searing heat of his ki exploding from the depths of his being. His roar increased tenfold, echoing through the sky over the sound of his ki radiating from him, over the sound of boulders crumbling from his ki's aura, and over the sound of Buu yelling his confusion.

He dropped his arms to hang at his sides and let his body go slightly limp as the agonizing pain ripped through his body and he began to fade, the pain dimmed only slightly by his satisfaction. His actions had portrayed what he had never been able to say, what he had never been able to put into words. And Bulma would finally, _finally_, know who he was.

He was Vegeta: Proud, stubborn, arrogant... and willing to do anything to ensure the safety of those he loved.

_And I don't want the world to see me_ _   
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand_ _   
When everything's meant to be broken_ _   
I just want you to know who I am_ _   
I just want you to know who I am_ _   
I just want you to know who I am_ _   
I just want you to know who I am_


End file.
